Dancing has become prime time entertainment.  ‘So You Think Can Dance”, Dancing with the Stars”, and the latest, “Live to Dance” offers thrilling competitions; they  are a great spectator sport. But you may recall a time when you yourself once loved to dance. 

Maybe as a child you turned the radio on and danced around the house, feeling joyful, graceful, free. Later your parents may have given you lessons and you aspired to be a great ballerina or tap dancer While you were still in school, there were opportunities to go out to a dance with your friends or on a date.

But then, somehow the seriousness of life including marriage, babies, job responsibilities, got in the way. You put the pleasure of dancing behind you, never again to revisit it again.

Now that the kids are grown and you may be feeling less pressure to push hard and get ahead, you  have more time to devote to yourself and find ways to have more fun, like dancing again.

I do believe we are all dancers, that knowing how to dance is innate and embedded in our DNA. Since the very beginning of time there has always been the call of drums and the response, to dance.  It is so in every culture.

So what stops us from exploring what comes naturally?

We become self conscious and self critical, afraid of making a fool of our self. The inner dialogue may include....

“I don’t know how to dance.

“I’m too fat or too old or too clumsy.

“People are watching and laughing at me”. 

“And besides I have no one to dance with.”

These are but poor excuses, preventing you from enjoying a wonderful form of exercise. You may have heard the adage,”Dance as if no one is watching.” In fact, probably no one else is paying attention to you on the dance floor; they are too busy enjoying themselves. Expressing your self through dance requires you drop the self judgments and make peace with your very own unique and individual ways of moving.

Beside the joy of dancing, consider the health reasons.  As aging boomers (I know this fact is hard to admit) it is important to know the latest scientific research which has found dancing is helpful in preventing or slowing down all forms of brain disease, including Alzheimer's.  Dancing forces the brain to organize, plan and use judgment. Dancing brings in additional oxygen and coordinates the large muscles. It strengthens you,  makes you more flexible and unblocks stuck energy. It can be an invaluable tool in slowing down the aging process.

If you are wondering where can you dance, there are many opportunities to explore this forgotten part of your life, right here in our town. One choice, especially if you have a partner, is to take professional ballroom or latin classes. 

Several local clubs offer DJ or live music on the weekends.  If you decide to go out dancing, bring a friend along  or, if you dare, venture out, alone.  Dancing folks tend to be friendly and you might meet a new dance partner.

The are several schools in the area where adults can study all kinds of dance including jazz,  ballet, african or belly dance. 

Or you might prefer joining dance-workout classes  at a health club or at the Y.  Zumba is the latest workout craze. Importantly, It  gets the heart rate up. The choreography is fun and expressive of the music which ranges from  latin to hip hop, charleston, tango  or belly dance. 

No matter what your age or size you can do zumba, as long as you have patience to stay with it and the ability to follow the somewhat complicated and fast moving choreography. After awhile you may notice the extra weight starts to come off, the belly goes down, the waist line gets smaller, your legs and arms become more toned and you realize what you have been missing all these years.

Boomers, now is our time to celebrate life as we keep moving upward and onward... so get up and dance.

Boomer Talk... 
LETS NOT GO THERE
by Angelena Craig

     "There" is the current topic, death and dying.
      For many of us, it is taboo to even discuss it. We push it away, distancing ourselves, pretending dying and death are not inevitable.
     If the reader is willing, let's take a look at what is in store for us at the end of our life, acknowledging that it is, of course, "the great unknown," and that not knowing can be a really scary thing.
     As boomers, every week, we may hear of someone we know who has been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. All the best doctors, surgeries and medications may not be able to bring back their health, and this coming loss seems more than we can bear.
     When death occurs without warning, suddenly and out of the blue, we have no way to prepare. When a seemingly healthy person collapses and dies, or there is a fatal car accident, it is shocking and traumatic. We struggle to make sense of something that makes no sense, of a life over much too soon.
     It is those who are left behind who suffer the most, sometimes becoming despondent for years or even an entire lifetime, as they grieve their loss
     Releasing our attachment to the suffering can be a huge step.
     The topic of death and dying may require us to give some attention and thought to this natural part of life.
It may be seen as one more step on our journey from birth, through childhood, adolescence, adulthood, old age and then letting go of our body.
     Does the losing of our body and our mind as we move into "the great unknown" have to be dreaded and feared? Is it better to live in denial and make believe that somehow life on this earth goes on forever?
     It does help to have a spiritual foundation — something that you believe to be true about life and death.
If your belief system is a positive one, rather than the threat that you will, upon dying, visit hell and damnation, this topic is much less frightening.
     You may follow a religion or not, but to have some understanding of "the bigger picture" can be important when you consider the transitions ahead.
     Personally, I appreciate the assurance of the ancient Hindu scripture, The Bhagavad Gita. "There has never been a time when you have not existed, nor will there be a time when you will cease to exist. You were never born nor will you ever die. It is only the body which is born and which will die. Your real Self is not the body. The eternal Self inhabits the body through childhood, youth and old age."
     Another approach to the fear of dying is to consider what countless people have said about their "near-death" experiences. There is usually a common thread. They see themselves passing through a tunnel toward the light. Greeting them are loving guides to help them to the next destination. Those who return report that they are told that their time is not yet over, and there is more to do. Those who survive tell us it is a pleasant and deeply moving experience to be so near to death.
     Just recently, it was reported that Apple co-founder Steve Jobs, right before he passed, said goodbye to his gathered family and looked beyond them and said, "Oh, wow, oh, wow, oh wow."
     So, what's to fear? The unknown? Surrendering control?
     Of course, the dying itself can be really hard to take. Being prepared and making end-of-life decisions can help assure things are in order. You can take care of the proxies and appoint trustees of your estate, but have you planned how you want to die if you get really sick and there is little to no hope?
     You may have watched a loved one needlessly suffer, on medications and living with tubes and machines, while the doctors tried to save his or her life. You may have waited for a miracle that never came. There were no choices at the end of life. But now, we in Massachusetts have the opportunity (as has been approved in Oregon and Washington) to pass Death with Dignity, a bill that will be put before voters in 2012, which gives terminal patients a choice in planning their death.
     This legislation — which includes strict safeguards — will guarantee that, if you are of sound mind and you have no more than six months to live, you may request a prescription from the doctor that allows you to self-medicate and end your life in a dignified manner.
     You may choose the time, the place, and invite loved ones to be with you in those final moments. You can choose to be in your home, or in hospice, or in the hospital.
     Never before have we had this choice. I, for one, will sign the petition to make sure we see it on the 2012 ballot. Then, I may feel even more positive about my "ending" when it comes, while believing that, really, there is no end.

• • •
Angelena Craig of Newburyport is the director of The New Aging Movement and a professional-level yoga instructor. Visit her website at www.thenewagingmovement.com or email angelenayoga@verizon.net.

For boomers this may be a common scenario...you notice you’re too busy, there’s not enough time to do it all. You’re running around all day and not getting as far as you want, going from task to task or place to place. There’s too much on your plate and you are overstuffed.

You may have said to yourself, “Even though I really want to, I’m too busy. I have no time to just sit down with a good book or get together with an old friend, or take a class I’d like to. I’m just too busy for that."

“There’s no way around it”, you may think. “With all my responsibilities, my day is really full and nonstop. I don’t even have time to take a deep breath and relax.”

But is this the only choice, the only reality for you?

You might take a moment to notice your life is way out of balance when you are too busy. Especially as you move into your mid to late 50’s or 60’s and beyond, you simply don’t do “too busy” all that well. It taxes your brain, stresses your nerves and may drive you to drink or other bad habits.

When the body get out of balance an injury is more likely to occur, like a pulled muscle or a fall which stops you in your tracks so you can’t keep moving as you would like. Or your immune system breaks down and you get sick. You then have no choice but to be less busy. If you’re lucky it is a mild breakdown and a quick recovery. Unfortunately if the build up of stressing the body over time occurs it may bring forth a chronic, long term or even fatal illness. 

When the mind becomes stressed from all the busyness, you may may make mistakes, lose or forget things ...more than may be expected coming from the normal aging process.

When the emotions become out of balance from overload, you may become depressed, angry, resentful, frustrated that life is just too hard. Why me?

So how do you then become more balanced? For starters you may want to examine your life and see it as a pie with three components, all fairly equal in size.

WORK...


If you are working at a full-time job ask yourself if your work is satisfying, or at least tolerable?

As boomers, this is the time to develop a proper attitude around releasing the overriding importance of work. For most of us, we are moving toward, or are already in, a phase when we cut back from this part of our life that was once of prime importance, and eventually we “retire” from the work force. Are your preparing for this?

PLAY...

Are you finding time to do what you love, to have fun? 

You might write a list of ten things you really like to do (for some, generating these ten items could be a real challenge). After you have your list, go back and mark which of these you have done in the last week, month or year. Notice which you can do alone or together with someone else, which ones cost money or are free. You will then have a better understanding of how much “play time” you allow yourself.

SELF DEVELOPMENT...

Are you someone who neglects this third aspect of the balanced life. 
Ask yourself, do you fill your life with busyness in order to avoid an inward focus. 

Do you take some time each day to sit quietly, to do some self-examination, to understand and appreciate just who really are and how you might improve your self by changing, even a little, those patterns of speech, thought or behavior that do not serve you? 

Is your spiritual life important to you and do you devote time to explore this aspect of who you are?

Living a balanced life, with less busyness, helps guarantee you preserve your good health and find more joy and ease in living, which, after all these many decades of driving and pushing hard, you do truly deserve. 

Kripalu Yoga Instructor Angelena Craig writes articles about yoga, aging, and wellness for baby boomers and beyond. Many of her most popular articles, originally published by The Newburyport Daily News, Boomer-Living.com or both, can be found here. In addition to offering Yoga Instruction and Wellness Workshops, she has produced a 75 minute, segmented video, Angelena's Chair Yoga DVD.

Boomer Talk by Angelena Craig

In 2003, Newsweek used the headline "Real men do yoga" for a feature article that discussed how American men are "starting to hit the mats."

Now, eight years later, I would say they are still just starting to adopt yoga. Far as I can tell, yoga for men has not been an easy sell. I often run into men who, when they learn I am a yoga instructor, say, "I should probably start doing yoga. I hear it is good for stress and stretching."

With a captive audience, I extoll all the benefits of yoga — how it is known to reduce high blood pressure and high cholesterol, how it keeps the spine and all the joints flexible, that it helps prevent back injuries by building core strength, improves breathing and brings the entire body into balance.

I continue on ... until I see the telltale distracted look in their eyes and know that I am speaking to deaf ears. I still try to get in my final closing line: "Yoga is a complete system for self-improvement, for the body the mind, the emotions and the spirit."

"So, why don't you learn yoga?" I ask.

I am not surprised when men, and some women, say as their primary excuse, "I am too busy; I have no time."

This response amuses me and makes me a little sad. With all of the many hours in the week, there is not one or two you can find to release the stress and heal your body? This to me is really unfortunate, and it does speak to getting one's priorities in line. No time to take better care of myself is really a lame excuse.

Another excuse is: "I can't fit it into my schedule. Classes are offered when I can't get to them." Or "I'm too tired at night after work, and weekends are reserved for the family." I usually suggest, at this point, that they might take a few private classes, and in this way they can check out whether yoga works for them. It is true that private classes may be more expensive, but they could be cost-effective in the long run. A series of private yoga sessions, set up at a time that works for you, will teach you ways to stretch and release the stress, and they often cost less than a massage. You will come away feeling just as good as someone else manipulating your body and soothing your mind. Once the techniques are learned, you can, if you are dedicated, have a home practice.

Another comment I often hear is, "I've tried classes and they are full of women. I don't feel comfortable being the only guy."

I can understand this, and sometimes it is true that there are one or two men in a room full of women; however, as more men adopt the practice, this is changing.

In truth, I have utmost respect for any man willing and able to be way outnumbered by females. It does require a man to drop his competitive nature and just do the best he can. Many men simply because of body structure or over-developed, tight muscles, may not have the flexibility to match that of the women. But with time and practice, much more flexibility in the joints will be the result.

Sometimes, I hear, "There's so much yoga out there. It's too overwhelming, and I don't know where to go."

This is true. There is an abundance of yoga classes being offered in every town. They are in the gyms, the Y, adult education, churches and, of course, yoga studios.

Learning at a studio can guarantee you that the teacher is well-trained and experienced. If you are looking for something athletic, certain styles encourage power and stamina. If you are looking for something gentle and soothing, those classes can also be found. You might have to do some research before choosing where it is you want to go.

If you belong to a health club, there are many weekly yoga classes for you to explore. As someone new to yoga, you might be better served to find a series of beginners classes at a yoga studio and start there. Once you learn the basics, you can pretty much join any ongoing class.

If all of the above has not been convincing enough to get the men starting yoga, I recall something my eldest, single son said when visiting my yoga studio.

"Mom, this is the best-kept secret about where all the beautiful women are hanging out. They're doing yoga."

• • •

Angelena Craig of Newburyport is the director of The New Aging Movement and a professional-level yoga instructor. Visit her website at www.thenewagingmovement.com or email angelenayoga@verizon.net.

Boomer Talk: On the moveSeptember 2, 2011

Whether it is an empty nest, finding yourself single with a big house you can't support or just wanting to look for a new and better living arrangement, boomers are exploring their housing options.

Where do we go from here? What's next?

As we move up in age, many of us consider moving away from the long and dismal winters to a more user-friendly climate. Others want to stay in the area, but choose (or are forced) to downsize and trade in the larger house.

The option of shared living is gaining new popularity, especially among single boomers. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 30 percent in this age group are single, whether through divorce, being widows or widowers or having never married.

As a youth, you may have had some experience with shared housing, either living with grandparents or other extended family. In college or while you had your first job, you may have lived with a roommate. If it worked well and you found compatible people, you may recall it was fun and definitely saved you money.

Perhaps you lived communally as a idealistic young adult, sharing the cooking and other household responsibilities. In the more structured communes, there may have also been pooling of income, cars, clothing and, yes, occasionally lovers. Ideally, it worked out well, but in reality, these communes often proved more problematic and were difficult to maintain.

Now, in these challenging economic times, the idea of living with others who are not your family or even close friends could be an attractive idea, both economically and socially.

As we look to the future, hoping to figure out what is the best way to live in this third, and perhaps, final chapter of our lives, "Living in Community" has become a goal for some. As we scale down our work life or become retirees, we can discover leaving the work world often carries with it another loss: no longer having the sense of "belonging" that having a work life can offer. Feeling too isolated, when there is no job to go to, can be a problem sometimes leading to depression.

A new concept and choice of how to improve one's quality of life is emerging. Co-housing, started in Denmark, is now a growing movement all over the world. Co-housing is a type of collaborative housing in which residents actively participate in the design and operation of their own neighborhoods.

Co-housing residents are consciously committed to living as a community. These intentional communities are physically designed as attached or single-family homes along one or more pedestrian streets or clustered around a courtyard. Although they range in size, the majority are set up for 20 to 40 households.

The carefully planned design, such as cars parked on the periphery of the property rather than attached to each home, and open porches in the front of each home, encourages casual social contact between neighbors as well as deliberate gatherings for weekly shared meals, celebrations, clubs, interest groups and business meetings.

Some formed communities are multi-generational and include children of all ages; others are restricted to residents age 55 and older. All require some agreement on which basic values are appreciated and practiced.

The common house is the social center of a community, with a large dining room and kitchen, lounge and, frequently, several guest rooms, as well as facilities for workshops, exercise and laundry. Individual dwellings therefore can be designed smaller in size and more cost-efficient because the common house provides the extra needed space.

The need for members to take care of their common property builds a sense of working together, trust and support. Because neighbors hold a commitment to a supportive relationship with one another, almost all co-housing communities use consensus as the basis for group decision-making. There are shared values and the commitment to work out whatever problems arise and find consensual solutions that satisfy all members.

For those who may be searching for creative solutions to housing and social needs, there is much to explore as we reach for quality living, hoping to find the next best place we truly can call "home."

• • •

Angelena Craig of Newburyport is the director of The New Aging Movement and a professional-level yoga instructor. Visit her website at www.thenewagingmovement.com or email angelenayoga@verizon.net.

NewburyportNews.com, Newburyport, MAAugust 12, 2011Boomer Talk: Ruled by technologyBoomer Talk 
Angelena Craig

--

I recently spent 10 days in close proximity to a 14-year-old. She was attached, almost at all times, to her smartphone, using it to continually text her friends.

Watching her, I wondered what will be the effects of this ever-evolving technology on youth? Will they be able to establish social skills, have close and intimate relationships, be able to focus and concentrate over a period of time?

And what of the older boomer generation?

Some of us, already mature adults, readily adopted the new technology and continue to crave all the latest inventions guaranteed to speed up our lives and make us better able to respond immediately to any outside message. Others were dragged into this current of somewhat challenging devices, fighting it for a while, but finally surrendering. We may make moderate use of the computer and are not bound 100 percent to a cellphone.

There are still a few stubborn holdouts who are able to resist technology almost completely. They may refuse to use a cellphone except for dire emergencies and, although they have use of a computer, they really don't want to bother putting in the effort to learn those skills. This rare, almost extinct, breed, often feels some pride in doing as they please, but their friends and colleagues find it frustrating, and maybe even maddening, that they can't be easily reached.

Can it be said that the compulsive behavior of never being separated from one screen or another is addictive and destructive? Is too much attachment — being hooked on constant television, or inseparable from the computer or cellphone — an indication we are using technology as an escape? Or as a nonprescription drug that we require to soothe our anxieties and make us feel better? If our smartphone is always in our hand or our pocket, or resting on the bedside table while we sleep SEmD we may want to consider that it is, in fact, ruling our lives.

It can, of course, be argued that all this technology is beneficial, convenient and making our lives easier. It is faster and much more efficient to let our fingers do the talking and the walking. These devices are able to surf the Internet and are capable of completing many tasks, including shopping, finding us a date or making our reservations. We can play a game, see a movie, check the dictionary and even have sex (sort of).

Who wouldn't want to have that constant convenience?

I, for one. I like seeing a friendly face when I shop in town. I'd rather visit in person with anyone I care to talk to, and if that can't happen, I want to at least hear their voice. Hopefully, we can talk when I can give them my full attention rather than while I am driving my car. I still find it an odd phenomenon when I walk down the street and see every other person with a phone to their ear and a distracted look in their eye.

The laws against using the phone while driving are quickly being put in place. And beyond this, cities like Philadelphia are now targeting distracted (texting) pedestrians, issuing $120 tickets for endangering themselves and others.

Through texting or using social networks, it may be said, we are moving one step farther away from valuing truly personal connectedness and an appreciation for clear communication.

You may remember a time when life moved at a slower pace.

Every house had a rotary phone we used whenever we wanted to make a call. It required putting a finger in the corresponding finger hole and rotating the dial clockwise until it reached the stop, and then pulling out the finger so the dial could return to its resting spot before you moved onto the next digit.

There were no answering machines, no call waiting, no automatic redial and especially no phone you could carry in your pocket. If you dialed a number that did not answer, you simply called back later. And was it so bad to have to call back?

Perhaps we now have an overly inflated sense of self-importance and a stronger urge to get in touch just when we need to.

What disturbs me most with society's attachment to the cellphone is the resulting loss of decent social manners.

I find it rude when I get together with acquaintances and they think nothing of answering a call. They are always ready to respond to the vibration or the adorable jingle that beckons them. If there is an emergency, that is different, but almost always, there is no situation that requires an instant response.

Mostly, it is that obsession to check or respond to any outside call, even when we are engaged in lively conversation — perhaps sharing some deep thought or emotion. Responding to a call means our mutual sharing immediately comes to end. Sometimes, I don't even hear, "Excuse me, I have to get this. I am expecting an important call."

These otherwise-thoughtful people don't seem to think it rude to drop me and our conversation and switch their undivided attention to whoever else is on the line, chatting away as if I am invisible. Their voice becomes extra loud, adding more insult as I then have to listen to their conversation or walk away.

It will be interesting to follow the backlash of all these timesaving devices. I believe I am not alone in saying, "Turn it off and tune in right here, right now."

• • •

Angelena Craig of Newburyport is the director of The New Aging Movement and a professional-level yoga instructor. Visit her website at www.thenewagingmovement.com or email angelenayoga@verizon.net.

Boomer Talk